I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
false alarm, still single
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