mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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