He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
