Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
