I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
