girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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