and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
