youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
