found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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