I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
