I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
