Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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