Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize