Whod you bang
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
