hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
