Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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