Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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