he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
