I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
