dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Randomize