we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
