What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
