I wanna bring you to show and tell
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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