im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
