Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
