DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
