you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
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