Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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