Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize