his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
