Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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