my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
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