Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
