I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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