So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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