she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
