I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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