The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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