I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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