The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
