i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
