i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Randomize
