I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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