Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
