What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
