Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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