He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
