Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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