Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Randomize
