They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
