you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
