Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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