what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Randomize
