so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
