My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
