i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Randomize
