Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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