i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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