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• (812): View more from Indiana

  Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"

  (219): View more from Indiana

  I have so much to learn from you, wise slut

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• (416): View more from Ontario

  i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia

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• (818): View more from California

  This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  What happened?....

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.

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• (506): View more from New Brunswick

  HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?

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• (516): View more from New York

  yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...

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• (469): View more from Texas

  I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.

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• (831): View more from California

  Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.

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• (714): View more from California

  Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.

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• (219): View more from Indiana

  My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."

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• (585): View more from New York

  I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.

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• (239): View more from Florida

  Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?

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