Moan for me like Helen Keller
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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