Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
