His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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