besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
