If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
