i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
