she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
