I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
