it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
