4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
