Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
