just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
