omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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