u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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