i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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