So drunk, too bad you don't want this
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
